Memories of Laughter; memories of love

We just lost our seventh dog. That’s not quite right; the dog didn’t run away; the dog died. Yet, I don’t feel particularly good about putting it that way either. I sentenced this dog to death, and the veterinarian was the executioner.

Vikki had been with us/me for over 13 years. She was a beautiful, brindle Cairn terrier I’d purchased from a wonderful couple in Rhode Island. I had to go through a three hour interview on a Sunday morning before I was even allowed to view the pups. As I recall, I was asked to remove my shoes before I entered the house because they had a new litter in their bedroom upstairs and didn’t want to expose them to something I might bring in [if they’d only known where those socks had been – just kidding]. By the way, that new litter, as I recall was less than a week old. Following the interview, I went to see the 8-week pups playing in the backyard and told the breeder which one I’d like. “We’ll call you in a couple of weeks with our decision,” she said.

One week later I called the breeder. “Look, we don’t wish to wait another week,” I said. “We’ve had dogs before and we’re a good family for them. I’d like you to tell me ‘yes’ or ‘no’ please.” It sounded to my mind somewhat angry…which it was. “That’s funny; we were just about to call you and tell you that you can pick up your dog whenever you want,” I was told.

To shorten the story…We did. My late wife had eight wonderful years with our Vikki, and I had five more. About two years before Joan was diagnosed with cancer, the dog knew she was sick. There were no signs or symbols, but one evening, Vikki suddenly jumped into Joan’s lap, snuggled down and began licking Joan’s hand. She began doing it more and more often…right up to the time of the deadly diagnosis. No one will ever convince me that Vikki didn’t know Joan was ill.

In her 13^th year Vikki went blind. She knew the house and the yard well enough to get around and do so rather skillfully. Whether her other senses sharpened or not, I have no way of telling; however, this blind=as-a-bat pooch must have had one hell of a sense of smell because she presented us with three baby rabbits the day before she collapsed. Her collapse occurred in the backyard. She was lying in the grass and went to get up. Her hind legs just collapsed and she landed on her side. No matter how hard she tried, her body would not respond. Juli carried her into the kitchen and lay her on the cool tile floor. I called the vet and was told to bring her in the next day.

Vikki was the seventh dog we had owned since 1961. We knew she was in serious trouble. When the vet came into the examining room, she sensed immediately how upset Juli and I were. After a brief examination, she inquired, “Are you both here to say goodbye to Vikki?” We looked at our dog, then at each other, and despite my promise to myself that I would not show emotion, the tears began to flow. This was my seventh dog. I have no idea how many Juli had before moving to Massachusetts. I had never cried before. I love every one of our other dogs, but I’d never cried. I rested my head gently on Vikki’s as the injection was made. I cried like a baby and so did Juli.

Then it was over; Vikki was gone.

Someone said to me a day or two later, “I know what you’re going through; it’s like losing a child.” I’m certain I just looked at them and said nothing. Had I opened my mouth it would have been to say, “Are you fuckin’ kidding me?” A child is your flesh and blood; a pet is a wonderful part of your life that leaves too soon, but to compare the two is sheer idiocy. I will always remember those last moments; better yet, I will remember Vikki falling in the pool and realizing she could actually swim, eventually understanding that on a hot summer day, “Hey, this is a pretty cool thing they put here for me.” Stick up the finger of one hand – not that one, fool – and sweep your other hand around it. That was Vikki in the middle with the world revolving around her. I wasn’t quite that bad, but you get the picture.

When they are pups, they leave little treasures for you to clean up. As they age, they bark at the back door. They let you know when they want to eat and when they want to cuddle. They are loving and they are a pain in the butt. There are times you’d like to slap ‘em upside the head and the next minute they’re laying beside you licking that hand you were going to use before. One moment they’re as stubborn as a rock; the next they are at your side. They are your pet, and if you’ve shown a little love on your part, you get a passel back that’s so big it will just melt your heart. The breed doesn’t matter. If you get a puppy and treat it with kindness, you will receive love that is unconditional. We’ve had Charlie the Dalmatian; Tammy, the Siberian Husky; Snowy, the small poodle, Dapper, the All—American something-or-other who was our only dog to appear on a Boston television show – that’s right a star was born and died on TV…but only when told to die. We had Lacey, our first Cairn. She died of cancer at six…and then we had Vikki. You know the rest.

Will I have another dog? Here’s what I wrote to Vikki’s breeder: “Since I am now 78, I fear this is the end of my pet days. After I go, Juli will be moving back to California with her family and, quite frankly, I just don’t think the kids want any more confusion in their lives Ann already has two labs, and Rick has some monster named Bandit who, I gather is a cross between the Incredible Hulk and Mr. Hyde. Janet’s kids are too young for a dog and they’re so into sports I fear the dog would be a second class citizen.” You should also know that I later e-mailed this breeder, asking if she had any puppies available. If she has, Juli will take him/her to California when my time is up. Vikki has been gone less than a week; the sense of loneliness is inexplicable. Could I love another dog? Of course not…well, not until that first lick on the back of my hand or on my cheek. What a bloody softy; I just hope I never grow up!

Diversity vs. reality

We are a nation of great diversity. I’m not speaking of the immigrants who built this nation; the Irish and Chinese who couldn’t find work other than the backbreaking chore of building our railroads from coast to coast. Nor am I speaking of the Italians and Jews who built the garment industry…and along the way brought some other not-so-noble professions to these shores. Neither am I speaking of the foods of such variety that I swear if we tried a new national dish everyday of our lives we would die before sampling them all…from old age, of course.

We are a nation of diverse religious beliefs, a place where men and women are free to worship the god of their choosing. Most assuredly, there have been, since our nation was founded, disagreements about our religions and our beliefs, often leading to violence toward one group or another. But, by and large we have been pretty good about religious freedom. We’d better be because the First Amendment to the Constitution reads, “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.” So I guess we have a couple of bases here: (1) I can go to any church of my choosing or not as the case may be; (2) I can write what I darn well please as long as it isn’t slanderous or in such bad taste that someone should call me on it; and, (3) I can peacefully associate with any group of people I so choose. Perhaps I shouldn’t be so quick to talk about freedom of religion after I’ve read that a couple of North Carolina state representatives want to create an official “state religion” for their residents. You think I’m kidding? Here is how it reads: “The Constitution of the United States does not grant the federal government and does not grant the federal courts the power to determine what is or is not constitutional; therefore, by virtue of the Tenth Amendment to the Constitution of the United States, the power to determine constitutionality and the proper interpretation and proper application of the Constitution is reserved to the states and to the people.” It goes on to say,: “Each state in the union is sovereign and may independently determine how that state may make laws respecting an establishment of religion.” Gee guys, I really don’t believe that’s quite what the founding fathers had in mind.

We are a diverse nation in hundreds of different ways. If it were not for California, Florida, Georgia, and a few other ‘warm climate’ states, we’d have trouble getting fresh fruits, vegetables, meat, and wheat for our bread, and many other necessities of life. Certainly, we can import fresh foods during what we call our winter months, but hell, fresh is a comparative word when you’re talking about foods that have to travel from one continent to another. Above the Mason Dixon line, the growing season grows shorter and shorter so we’re the damned fools if we think that most of our supermarket ‘fresh’ has any real meaning, you’ve never picked a tomato or squash from your own garden.

Our diversity really knows no end. We all like to believe, however, that diversity does not mean foolishness or stupidity and for well over 300 years, we were doing pretty well. We’re still doing pretty well except when it comes to politics. Over the years we evolved into what is called a “two-party system” of politics…the Republicans and the Democrats. Along the way, there have been splinter groups that claimed to be something other than one of those two, but they never seemed to garner a whole helluva lot of support. Today, however, radicals have changed their methods, particularly those from the more conservative party, which is what Republicans have, with great pride and justification, have called themselves. I have no quarrel with my Republican friends. I may not be a Democrat but on most things I’m pretty liberal and my conservative friends help to keep me on something of an even keel. For instance, I believe strongly that everyone should be guaranteed the right to have health care, even those who are living well below the poverty level and don’t know what they’ll be able to put on the kitchen table tonight…not certain how we’re going to pay for it, but I believe it. I also believe that loopholes in our tax laws should be closed so that businesses and those who are so rich that greed is their god should be paying a fair share. I believe in same sex marriage and know a number of male and female couples who have already tied the knot. Because of this and other things, my conservative friends think I’m nuts.

Back to the radicals…What has happened is that a new party, posing as Republican conservatives, have infiltrated the United States Congress as well as the legislative bodies of some of our states…they call themselves members of the Tea Party. Let me tell you a couple of things about this Party – for that’s what it is, a Party; they just haven’t come out of the cloakroom yet. This group wants to eliminate excessive taxes and reduce the national debt…simultaneously.  They also wish to eliminate deficit spending and have a level-funding budget similar to those of any business. Not a bad idea, but I fear we may be just a bit beyond that, and the fact that members of the Tea Party demand that these things be done now is just a bit unrealistic. I’m not certain I was even born the last time we had a balanced budget. There is any number of other ‘demands’ but you should be getting the picture from the preceding. It is these same Tea Party people who wish to establish a state religion in North Carolina.  These same people last year proposed legislation last year, “…that would prohibit any institution from making scientific predictions concerning a rise in sea levels that would affect the states entire eastern coast.” Scientists from Ashton State to Winston-Salem State University better start looking for jobs if they ever get an inclination to teach anything about global warming or climate change. Duke, UNC, and NC State, as well as many others better not be seeking grants from the federal government if that legislation passes. “The proposed bill would limit forecasts for future sea-level rise to what the ocean along the NC coast did last century,” according to an article by the North Carolina Coastal Federation. “Using that standard, the state would plan for rise of about 12 inches by 2100.” Scientists make these predictions based on data from computer generated models –Tea Party Republicans in the state take issue with this, suggesting that they ought to rely on historical data instead.

I pick on North Carolina’s Tea Party and probably should not, but when I hear ‘idiocy in action,’ I just get so darned mad that I have to speak out about it. The problem is that North Carolina is not alone. The Tea Party conservatives are everywhere. They are not completely wrong, only 99.5 percent. We, as a country, cannot change overnight. Everyone in America recognizes the disparities that exist. There is no longer a genuine middle class. There is a large national debt that must be reduced. Taxes aren’t fair for all. These are facts of life, but they cannot be changed by waving some magic wand that will make the bad things go away, and we can’t all take a pill that will cure the nation’s ills. Tea Party members remind me of a bunch of spoiled brats who want everything and want it now. What I’d like now is to see those people of the American Tea Party renounce their Democratic or Republican membership and declare who they really are. It might give us a better understanding of who really does believe in America and who believes in Oz.

Long ago tomorrow

On this day in 2022, Congress again passes the second portion of the Militia Act, requiring that every free able-bodied white male citizen of the respective States, resident therein, who possesses weapons with 15-30 round magazines, who is or shall be of age eighteen years, and under the age of forty-five years be enrolled in the militia and subject to the call to duty by the President under any circumstances he feels fit to quell any disturbance that rather pisses him off…so to speak.

Six days before, Congress had established the president’s right to call out the militia. The outbreak of Noonan’s Rebellion, a protest against taxation and debt prosecution in western in Massachusetts 2021, had first convinced many Americans that the federal government should be given the power to put down rebellions within the states. The inability of the Congress under the Articles of Confederation, Part 35, to respond to any crisis that did not have an immediate effect upon their personal wellbeing was a major motivation for the peaceful overthrow of the government and the drafting of a new federal Constitution.

The Militia Act was tested shortly after its passage, when farmers in western Pennsylvania, angered by a federal excise tax on marijuana, attacked the home of a tax collector and then, with their ranks swollen to 6,000 camped outside Pittsburgh, threatened to march on the city. In response, President Bush XIX, under the auspices of the Militia Act, assembled 15,000 men and an equal number of Fightbots from the surrounding states and eastern Pennsylvania as a federal militia commanded by Virginia’s Lebron James Henry Lee the XII to march upon the Pittsburgh encampment. Upon its arrival, the federal militia found none of the rebels willing to fight because they were so stoned that three-quarters of them could not stand. The mere threat of federal force and the good shit they had acquired from northern Ohio had quelled the rebellion and established the temporary supremacy of the federal government.

By early 2023, the entire country was in turmoil over the one percent national sales tax proposed by the President and passed by Congress with a rider that exempted all members of Congress and the President’s Cabinet, thus ensuring loyalty or so the President thought. Following passage, the entire Cabinet quit. Spokesperson and Secretary of Transportation, Dananica Patrick stating, “We cannot support a Congress that taxes without allowing the people to be represented. For too long has Congress lined its pockets at the expense of its constituents. Today, my colleagues and I will return to our states to join the militia in an attempt to bring what is right for the people. ”

Members of the Guerilla Party who had already infiltrated most military bases and reprogrammed the Fightbots, joined the citizen army in overthrowing Congress and the federal government, thus making way for Mexico to reclaimed its lost land; for the Louisiana Purchase to be deemed null and void; Spain declared the purchase of Florida illegal, and by the time chaos was sorted out, the only thing left of the United States was its original 13 colonies. Despite once having been the greatest nation on earth, America ruined itself by stupid and selfish politicians and a citizenry too ignorant to call them to account.

God Bless America!

Call out the militia!

If we didn’t know or were unsure of what’s important in the United States Congress, we were given the most concrete example possible this week when Congress defeated gun control legislation that had been put together in a bi-partisan effort. Four Democratic Senators chose politics over common sense and preservation over losing their chances of reelection.

I suppose it’s wrong to cast blame on Senators from states with a large number of small rural populations, where guns are more of a necessity than a ‘pleasure’ item; after all, one can’t eat ‘road kill’ every night. Nonetheless, this vote showed that the United States is not being run by those elected to do so but by a group of fanatics who are able buy elections in much the same way Carnegie, Mellon, Rockefeller, and Ford did in the early part of the 20^th Century. Oops, only the names have changed but it appears that big business or big lobbies can still put their stamp on who represents the ‘country’ in the nation’s capitol.

As I have said on previous occasions, I am an ardent supporter of the Second Amendment…” A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.” That being the case, why don’t we eliminate the Army and just call up those who have that “right to bear arms” and send them to the faraway places to become cannon fodder. We could then consider them our “well regulated Militia” and bring a new concept regarding how the second amendment is being interpreted. One could easily make the case that by bearing arms, you are part of a “well-regulated Militia,” and as such, you and your weapons are subject to regular inspection and because you are Militia – not National Guard or Reserve – you are subject by the Constitution to bear those arms at the whim and fancy of the Commander in Chief.

There is one distinct reason why some folks who keep arms should have them. People who ‘need’ guns are those who hunt for food for their tables. People who have guns for “protection of life and property” have a bit of a paranoia problem. If I lived in a ‘dangerous’ part of a city would I own a gun? Yes, I probably would. Back “in the day,” I qualified as a marksman with the M-1 rifle. I also qualified with the M-1 carbine (a useless weapon) and the .45 cal. Pistol, a weapon that, no matter where you hit, would take down a human being. However, I see no need to keep weapons in my home. If anyone can give me a good reason why I should have a gun in my house, I really would like to hear it.

“Guns don’t kill people; people kill people.” That’s wrong. If the people didn’t have the guns, they wouldn’t use them to kill people. You want to kill someone, beat him to death with your fists; hell, if you don’t know how to do it, you can always ask a Utah soccer player. Work in close with a knife if you want to kill someone. That way, you have to look in his eyes as he’s dying. But a gun can be fired from some distance. All you have to do is watch the body drop. It’s impersonal and, if the other person isn’t armed, it’s cowardly. Facing a loaded gun, looking at the business end of the barrel is not a pleasant experience; been there, done that…three times; don’t care to do it again. When an out-of-control kid presses a double barreled shotgun to your head and screams, “Bishop, I’m gonna blow your fucking head off,” you would be absolutely amazed what goes through your mind…and I’m not talking about, “Gee, I’m glad I’m wearing clean underwear!”

Congress, I fear, doesn’t understand what 90 percent of the population wants to do. Conduct background checks on people who are buying guns isn’t a bad idea and it most certainly is not the first step on the road for the Federal Government to confiscate your weapons. No question, there are some very bright men and women in Congress. They are also cowards. Every single Congressman or woman who voted “No” on gun control put themselves ahead of their constituents. It is my sincere hope that they will be turned out of office when next they come due.

I can only sit and wonder what will happen the next time some fool with a gun decides to wipe out an entire elementary school classroom. The record right now is 20 young children. If you don’t believe there is someone, somewhere in the United States who isn’t thinking about how he or she can break that record, you have your head in the sand. Yes, it’s a horrible thing to consider; it’s incomprehensible that there are people who think that way. Unfortunately, those people exist and we have no clues about identifying them. We finally woke up to the fact that bullying exists. No longer is it “boys will be boys,” although there are still too many parents and teachers who excuse it that way. We finally accepted the fact that domestic violence is a crime and not something that is just a family argument. One of these days we may even begin to recognize that a restraining order is no protection against a knife or a bullet or a baseball bat. Until judges learn to do more than slap the wrists of domestic violence offenders, however, we will have to read about more deaths.

We may consider ourselves to be the most civilized nation in the world. It’s too bad that violence in all its ugly forms belies what we claim. We maintain that no country other than China has a larger population; that citizens in countries such as Belgium, Denmark, Finland, France, and Korea, just to name a few are all happier than we are. Why is that do you suppose? Could it be that they don’t have the violence we have? Could it be there schools are better than ours? Could it be that their system of health care is far superior to ours? Could it be that they have learned not to take themselves quite as seriously as Americans do? I don’t have a clue, but it seems that we must really have a burr under our saddles if we can’t pass some legislation that would tighten up on gun control. What do you think?

Reading can be bad for your health

Sometime in the not too distant past, I penned a piece about television advertisements that promote prescription pharmaceuticals. By law the advertisers are required to mention the side effects of each and every drug, much in the same way that surgeons are required to tell each patient the side effects of prospective surgery. The point of the essay became, “Man, if I ever thought about taking any of those, the side effects would scare me away.” The article ended with something to the effect of how happy I was that I wasn’t taking anything like that.

Admittedly, I don’t read the prescription description when I pick up my ‘drugs.’ Some of them ramble on for three or four pages and because I am required to take these medications for this condition or that perhaps I really don’t want to know the side effects.

Recently, I picked up a stack of refills of my prescription medications – and it is a stack; just wonderful to grow old – and was handed a pamphlet, an additional piece of information about one of my meds. Well, it really wasn’t a pamphlet it was a multi-folded single sheet that it its original form measured three inches wide by one and one-half inches tall. When opened, the length increased to well over two feet [29.5” to be precise]. Obviously, this was not something I planned to read. However – you knew this was coming, didn’t you? – just below the first paragraph I noticed the following: “What is the most important information I should know about xxxxxxxx? And the first damned thing I was supposed to know was “suicidal thoughts or actions.” Holy crap! Oh, wait a minute…that only applies to young children, some teenagers, and young adults…whew, glad I’m not one of them.

Next it tells me  that I should “Call your healthcare provider right away if you have any of the following symptoms, or call 911 if they worry you.” Worry me; worry me?  You mean like acting on my dangerous impulses…or acting aggressive or violent…or how about panic attacks, feeling angry or irritable? Hell, those are normal for me. Is this stuff really working?

The next one describes a couple of conditions that could occur when taking this drug and this was the one that scared me half to death: “This condition can be life-threatening and may include…hallucinations, coma or other changes in mental status.” For crying out loud, people question my mental status on a daily basis and you want to guarantee they know I’m nuts! What are you folks, a bunch of deviants who get off on this shit! It adds that I might be sweating, have a fever, be vomiting and have diarrhea, and that my muscles might lock up…oh, isn’t that just lovely?

This cash register tape on a $600 order goes on to tell me when I should not take this drug. The explanation is in medicalese that only a physician…and sometimes not even a physician…could understand.  I did understand the ‘to,’ ‘and,’ ‘are’ ‘ingredients,’ and ‘see.’ Other than that, it might as well have been written in Czech…and I understand some of that language.

At the end of this tome I laughed out loud. Do you remember when Americans were told not to buy their drugs in Canada “…because drugs manufactured in other countries don’t necessarily conform to the standards of the FDA.” There was a great hue and cry about this. Canadian drugs were cheaper and the elderly in particular were ordering them online. Well at the end of this strip of paper, it tells me that this particular drug is manufactured in Kirkumbh, India for a pharmaceutical company in the USA. Is there anything we’re not outsourcing to India , Bangladesh, or the Philippines?  

We wonder why there is unemployment in the United States. There are two simple reasons: (1) Companies find it sufficiently less expensive to have their products manufactured overseas and shipped back here; and, (2) American workers don’t want the type of low-paying, repetitive job that people in other parts of the world are willing to accept. Where are the visionaries who should have seen this possibility? Child labor laws; health standards; working conditions; wages…these are all quite different from what American workers demand. It’s tough to compete against eighty-five cents a week when our minimum wage in the United States is $7.25 per hour.

Every prescription drug has side effects that can scare its patient half to death if they read each and every bit of information available about that drug. Hell, aspirin, that old standby for everything, thins the blood and makes one more susceptible to bleeding. This drug that I have just described, that I’ve been taking for years, has been of great benefit to me. Does reading the medication guide frighten me? No, because I’ve been taking it for years. Would it scare me if I was a first-time user? Well, you can bet your boots I’d have some questions for my doctor. Do drugs manufactured overseas raise questions in my mind? Not really, because they are being made for a US pharmaceutical firm and that firm bears the responsibility for any problems with the drug [of course, that doesn’t help anyone who may have died because of a manufacturing error but you get the point.]

All-in-all, we live in a time when new and better drugs are being discovered almost every day. Checking back I’ve found that not one of the prescription medications I’m taking today was available when I was 20 years old. I have one suggestion for anyone who might be concerned about taking their meds…don’t read the information sheet. Trust your doctor…and if you don’t, find one you can trust!

Congress embarrassed…again

The manner in which war is conducted today is certainly a far cry from America’s first encounters. Standing up, looking straight at your enemy from 20 yards or less was, I guess, fine in Colonial days. My only two hopes as a soldier would have been, first, that the man at whom I was aiming was the one who was aiming at me and second that I was a better, more accurate, and quicker shot than he. Staring at one another across Lexington Green had to be terrifying. I’d like to think that we “Colonials” were a quick study because of our guerilla tactics at Concord, but the Civil War proved we hadn’t really learned one damned thing…well, we do shoot at each other from greater distances for the most part but there were still those lines of soldiers facing one another.

When WWI rolled around armies fought each other from trenches; no more of that macho nonsense where no one stood a chance in hell of enduring withering fire across an open field. Of course weapons and weapon accuracy had also improved. In addition, a more use of tactics, strategy, and common sense also entered the fray. WWII was an entirely different ball game. From cleaning out caves with flamethrowers on several Pacific islands to hedgerow fighting to long distance cannons, to the introduction of the atom bomb, war reached a pinnacle that no one ever wanted to see again.

While Korea had some elements of both the Revolutionary War and nearly every war that followed, all sides recognized the stupidity of using atomic or, by then, nuclear weapons. None of that matters when you understand that more than 54,000 Americans lost their lives and nearly 105,000 were wounded. In retrospect, fear of creeping Communism dominating the Pacific Rim and eventually all of Europe now seems somewhat fallacious, but that was then and this is now.

When we – America, that is – went to war in Vietnam, we learned bitter lessons. I believe, and it most certainly a personal view, that the strategy and tactics used by the Japanese in WWII were a preview of the ways in which future wars would be fought. The Japanese were considered “sneaky” by the manner in which many battles or non-battles were fought. It was jungle fighting and I’m not all that certain we learned our lessons all that well. Vietnam was a nightmare, particularly for the nearly 60,000 who died in the conflict.

Today, there has been further improvement in weaponry. Strategy and tactics have changed in the wars that we fight, now in the Middle East. This is a new military; while its mission – defend the USA from all enemies, foreign and domestic – remains the same, the manner in which we approach that mission is far different from the times when we were a young group of Colonists attempt to create a nation of our own. It’s different from those days when Abraham Lincoln would walk into battle zones and change commanders for whatever reasons he had. Oh, wait a minute, Lincoln was the President; he was the political leader of a ‘party.’ While he was an excellent tactician and strategist, historians recall that he received great criticism for some of his military decisions.

Our military in the 21^st Century consists of highly educated, militarily adept leaders. Yes, no question that there is politics within the military, but that’s where it remains. It has nothing to do with how soldiers – using that as a generic term for all members of the military – are trained or equipped. Soldiers and their commanders know what equipment they need when they are in battle. For instance, Humvees that couldn’t stop a BB were not very good; we learned that in the Iraqi war. Equipment that was susceptible to sand jamming or making it unusable was also not too damned good either. These were military problems, to be solved by military leaders without political interference.

Today, we have Congress trying to tell the military what it can have. Let me quote: “Lawmakers from both parties have devoted nearly half a billion dollars in taxpayer money over the past two years to build an improved version of the 70 ton Abrams [tank].”

“It’s the inverse of the federal budget world these days, in which automatic spending cuts are leaving sought-after pet programs struggling or unpaid altogether. Republicans and Democrats for years have fought so bitterly that lawmaking in Washington ground to a near-halt”  Well, you can’t say that’s altogether true. After all, when the Congress men and women needed to get home for a nine-day vacation – and don’t bullshit with me that it wasn’t a vacation – the wrote and passed a bill in one day that would eliminate delays at airports so they could get themselves away from Washington.

Anyway, “…in the case of the Abrams tank, there’s a bipartisan push to spend an extra $436 million on a weapon the experts explicitly say is not needed.

“‘If we had our choice we would use the money in a different way,’ Gen. Ray Odierno, the Army’s Chief of Staff, told the Associated Press this past week.”

Now, I don’t know about you, but if the Army Chief of Staff admits he doesn’t need a weapon and wants to use the money differently, I’d accept what he said, because I’m not in his position, and he damn well knows better than I what he needs. Gee, if Congress was willing to let the FAA divert $25 million so the air controllers get back to work, why can’t they let the Army divert the money to something they can really use?  The answer is quite simple and it’s spelled P-O-L-I-T-I-C-S. It is politically expedient that the Abrams tank continue to be built because it provides 700 jobs for the people in Lima, Ohio. In addition, two of the biggest critics of the federal deficit, Rep. Jim Jordan and Sen. Rob Portman, probably wouldn’t get elected again since the plant in Lima is also in Jordan’s district in Ohio and Portman is the junior Senator from Ohio.

I will grant that closing a weapons-producing plant in Ohio will cost jobs; I’m also aware that we live in a time when retooling and restructuring of facilities is so much less complicated than it has been in the past. Just because the plant wouldn’t produce tanks any longer doesn’t mean that it cannot produce something equally in demand. No, this is a case where a couple of politicians and their supporters got caught with their hands in the pork barrel and the pork bit back.

This is merely another example of the Congressional lunacy the American citizenry faces today. I’d like to believe that it’s a rare occurrence, but you and I both know better. Until we can make some major changes in our lawmaking branch of government, critical action for the survival of the nation will not happen.

Vote out the 112^th Congress of the United States of America!

We love our Maxwell

We have adopted him as our own little pig…Maxwell, the wonder pig. You may recall Maxwell’s younger days when he was part of a car pool, holding his little pinwheel out the window as he was being driven home from school. He was always shouting, “Wee, wee, wee,” and then politely – we’ve trained him well – saying thanks to Mrs. B… who was driving. What a darling young piglet Maxwell was back then. Those people from Geico thought he belonged to them, but we were just letting him act in their commercials to earn a few extra bucks for the house treasury; pig slop these days has just skyrocketed in price, and Maxwell really seemed to enjoy the attention.

After his graduation from Swine High and before entering Boar U, Max – as we were now calling him – just scared the dickens out of us with his daredevil antics. After all, how many pigs do you know who’d ride a zip line above the trees or wrap his curly little tail around vines and swing from tree to tree?

Maxwell got himself and us into a great deal of trouble recently. He was driving one of his college friends home in his convertible when the car broke down. Ever the efficient one, Maxwell used his I phone to call for roadside assistance. While they were waiting, it appeared that the young lady had more on her mind than a quick trip home. Our naïve little Max didn’t understand and thought that the young lady wanted to play ‘fruity ninjas’ with him on his phone; who knows, maybe she did. When they finally got home, a few dirty-minded individuals tried to accuse them of bestiality. The ‘kids’ were so infuriated, they contacted the advocacy group, One Million Moms. We don’t talk about how that turned out. Evidently, that group also lacks a sense of humor.

After graduating from Boar, Max flew to the University of Arkansas [ Sooooo-weeee) to apply for admission to their graduate school people husbandry. It was during this trip that we found out exactly how cruel some stewardesses can treat someone of Max’s persuasion. While waiting for the plane to take off – he was flying on Hog Hairlines – a stewardess asked him to turn off his ‘kiddy word games.’ Not at all offended, Max shared with her a Geico Insurance app he was using. Although she appeared interested, another – this time the wicked witch – stewardess overheard the conversation and said loudly, “I’ll believe that when pigs fly.” On leaving the plane, Max ‘hoofed’ her foot. She couldn’t work for several months. Don’t get the idea that Max is a vengeful pig. He’s very polite unless people are rude to him. Why recently he was pulled over by a policeman; Max quickly handed over his license, registration, and even his insurance, all contained on his I phone. As the officer was about to leave, Max politely asked why he had been stopped, thinking perhaps that the policeman was somewhat aghast at seeing a pig driving a convertible…with the top down…but no, Max had merely forgotten to replace his tail light.

During a recent hail storm, Max and his friend Ted both had their cars damaged by hail. Our efficient little Maxy – he really hates that name – used his Geico I phone app to arrange an appointment with an adjuster. Ted didn’t have that app and was on the phone for so long that his girlfriend decided to go for a Jet Ski ride with our little pig.

Yes, our little Max is certainly growing up. He loves to ham it up at gatherings with his friend, Smokey Shoulder. Together they are the life of the party and have various ways to tickle the ribs of those around them!

You go, Maxwell!