Posts Tagged ‘Washington’

“When you are up to your ass in alligators, it is extremely difficult to remember that your original task was to drain the swamp.”

C’mon, you’ve heard it before; saw it on a poster somewhere; laughed your ass off the first time you saw it.  Today might be the perfect day to pull that poster out and stare at it one more time. We really aren’t up to our collective asses here in New England. We are far beyond that point. If my girlfriend’s feet were to touch the ground in our backyard, the snow would be well, well over her head. I am over six feet tall and if my feet were to touch the ground in any plowed spot in our driveway, I would be well over my head.

Some ingenious peckerhead is currently planning how he or she can be the first ones out with the, “I survived the blizzards of 2015” bumper stickers, T-shirts, coffee mugs, and whatever other paraphernalia will hold a sentence of that length. Don’t worry, they’ll be coming out, and the same assholes who are walking around the streets of Boston today will be the first ones to criticize those who are buying them while secretly purchasing as many of whatever as they can.

What is it with people who go outside in the middle of a blizzard; who get in the way of snowplows; and then bitch that their streets aren’t cleared. During the week, some people have to get to work in various cities and towns. That is a given; but on weekends, when the governor of the state and the mayor of the City of Boston have clearly and distinctly asked the citizenry to stay off the streets, why do these assholes insist on risking their lives and probably the lives of others by traipsing around the city like they’re looking for a duck boat parade?

(a bit later)

So here it is…another weekend with more snow promised for Sunday night going well into Monday. Yes, you may read that as “Another friggin’ Monday when I have to commute in a snowstorm,” and don’t you forget it. The only saving grace about this entire winter is that the Northeast is not alone. Some of the southern states have been getting hit with the white stuff, and they really-do-not-know-how-to-handle-it. I would not be very surprised to learn that some of the smaller southern communities have no equipment for fighting snow, including sanders or plows of any kind other than those used to bring in crops. Chuckle if you will; while the amounts may not be what we have seen, anything over three inches can shut down Washington. Imagine what it would do to some towns in South Carolina, Georgia, Mississippi, or Alabama.

What was the “gently falling snow” of the past few weeks has now become the “concrete foundation” of the snow on the streets. Shoveling this rock solid mass is nearly impossible. Large firecrackers or small blocks of Semtex are more effective, but they tend to really piss off the neighbors, particularly if their car is buried under one of the piles where you have placed your charges.

Word on the street is that Bahstan Mayor, Martiwalsh (everyone says it so fast it sounds like one word), is meeting with the St. Patrick’s Day Parade Committee early next week. Tomorrow is the first day of March, and the mountains of snow are so great that the streets still can’t be cleared by St. Paddy’s Day? I want you to know, however, that there is no such thing as climate change; it’s all a figment of Al Gore’s imagination.

If, as the saying goes, “March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb,” the floods we will face in the spring will be nothing short of gigantic. And don’t forget, “April showers bring May flowers;” We can all stand around and watch the daffodils float down the street, followed by the tulips, followed by…well, you get the picture.

It’s been one hell of a winter, but guess what, this too shall pass, and next summer while the roofers and carpenters are repairing our houses, we’ll look back on this and…naw, we won’t laugh; we’ll still be just as pissed then as we are right now.

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This is what I would like to do…First, I would like to take every single politician in Washington and each member of their office staff assigned to someone from their state who is as dissatisfied with their performance as I am with all politicians and their staffs. I would like the people from each of the 50 states to sit on one of the steps behind the Capitol, take the Senator, Representative, and each member of their staff, individually, over their collective knees, pull down their pants or pull up their skirts and paddle their collective butts until they promised to stop lying to America and do something for the country that does not involve getting something, e.g., money, into their pockets.

The second thing that I would like to do is short-circuit Dick Cheney’s pacemaker to get him to shut up about how the Democrats and Obama are so terrible. It sends the wrong message to other world leaders Mr. I-can’t-shoot-straight, so as we say in the old country, “Shut your goddamned pie-hole.” It’s not what you say Mr. Former Vice President – catch that one Dick? Former; it’s past tense. You were in office and now you’re out on your ass. Obama didn’t start the war in Iraq; you and the kid did that, and it was a huge mistake. Sure, Saddam was an asshole of a dictator. However, bin Laden’s people were trained in Saudi Arabia and bin Laden himself was from Saudi Arabia…anything but the truth seemed to be your motto, but I won’t go on from there. Just take a long vacation…oh, and take Limbaugh with you. It would make for a fun time.

The third thing would be to take know-it-all’s, me included, to meet some of the captives we have in wherever. If we’re not convinced that these people really hate us by the end of our conversations, maybe we, too, should shut up. However, I for one do not have to be convinced that somewhere in some Middle Eastern country, there is a plot afoot to attack the United States in a manner that will dwarf 911 in scope. Perhaps I am a conspiracy theorist, but someone has set a course to “degrade and destroy” America. The reasons are many. Jihadists have been convinced that we, as a nation, are evil incarnate and that unless we are destroyed once and for all, we will attempt to take over the world and dictate how it should be run. No amount of denial; no amount of foreign aid; no amount of help in any form will ever convince the extremists that our goals are honorable. Of course, if President Obama now or if George Bush before him had come out and said, “America has a single goal; we wish to conquer the world and tell every country how it should be run,” every country in the world would, today, be a nuclear wasteland…not a particularly good ‘thang.’

The fourth thing, and this is something I’d like to see rather than do, is to elect an administration where the President in his inaugural address states, “Before the end of my second term, we will reduce fossil fuel emissions by 90 percent. We will no longer be dependent on foreign oil because oil, in any form, will become a minor commodity in fueling our cities, towns, vehicles and farms.” If Kennedy could say that we would put a man on the moon inside of ten years, why can’t we find an alternative form of energy to move our country? The answer is out there. Let us not be bullied by lobbies and big business within our own borders. As my popular saying goes, “Let’s get an administration that has a pair and doesn’t struggle to grow a pair.”

It seems that after Harry Truman, our leaders have been somewhat wishy-washey. Each has done something. Eisenhower built an interstate transportation system second to none. Future administrations have allowed it to fall into disrepair. Kennedy’s contributions included NASA and averting a nuclear war by solving the Cuban missile crisis.  Johnson managed to get an historic Civil Rights bill passed. He appointed the first African-American justice to the Supreme Court. He established the National Endowment for the Humanities and the National Endowment for the Arts to support “humanists and artists,” and he “Created programs to tackle poverty such as Head Start, food stamps, Work Study, Medicare and Medicaid.” Nixon ended the Vietnam War and for that alone, he should be commended; however, his other contributions, including the opening of trade with China must be viewed in the light of a Democratic Congress that nearly forced his signature on the Environmental Protection Act. Nixon’s was, perhaps, one of the most complex of presidencies we have seen in modern times. It would be a simple matter to go on, but you get the idea. Our presidents since good old Harry who didn’t give a damn about doing anything but what was right, seem to have found themselves bogged down by petty details and forced into micromanaging situations. Their visions have not been clear nor have they always followed their visions to completion.

Am I just being curmudgeonly about where America has been and where it’s going? Perhaps, but then, I’m just another octogenarian who can do little but cast a single vote…or bitch and wail, piss and moan, and write small essays that will be read by few. Perhaps, somewhere out there, there is another Abraham Lincoln or George Washington, a child who can see the greatness that we can achieve and will lead us in achieving that greatness. I sure hope so. By the time that happens, I will be fish food for a few bluefish and stripers in Cape Cod Bay. That doesn’t mean that I won’t be looking…up or down…to see what’s going on. I have high hopes…so kid, you damn well better be out there…cuz I’m dependin’ on ya!

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