Years ago

            “Do you know that you begin every story with, ‘Years ago,’ and go on from there?” he asked. The questioner was Mike Hennessey, Deputy Chief of the Boston School Police, and we were at the gym. I’d just finished my workout and Mike was between sets. We’d been discussing some rather grisly murder, and I had recalled a story one of my former police officer students had told me. You don’t need to hear it because it might spoil a meal or two; however, I had passed it along to Mike. That’s when his classic remark was made.

            It appears to have reached that point where all of the best stories are those that are in the memory banks. Perhaps they have ‘grown’ over the years, embellished by time and in the telling, but for the most part, they remain relatively clear and intact. There aren’t too many of us who can retell the tale of the “one that got away,” without enlarging the size of the fish with each telling.

            I’ve been very fortunate in that many, not all, but many of my ‘memory lane stories’ have been positive. Better yet, many of them have left me glad to be alive to retell years later. For example, I’m not certain how many of you have ever faced a loaded gun in the hands of someone you didn’t know. It’s a very, very frightening experience, and when you come out of it alive, you realize that an angel must have been sitting on your shoulder. Once is bad; twice is terrifying; the third time, when a shotgun is pressed against your skull, but you are somehow spared, you just know that God has some other plan for you…been there, done that, don’t care to go through it a fourth time. Some of life’s experiences have made me a hypocrite; others have turned me into a cynic. The hypocrisy comes from watching or interacting with people who will treat those who can do something for them with great deference, while treating others like dirt. I believe it was Samuel Johnson who said, “The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.”  I know of a college president who went out of his way to avoid talking with any employee whom he thought was of no importance; yet his predecessor had made it a point to get around to each office once every couple of months – it took that long with his schedule – just to thank everyone for the job they were doing. The first was asked to leave after a brief term; the other retired from the job and people cried.

            There are times when the memory lane stories are at the very head of the lane. Perhaps I’ll forget them with time, but for now, they have a place. The other morning I was in Roche Bros. It was early; I was coming from the gym and walked in a few minutes before 7. Strolling through the aisles, I heard a relatively loud voice. It was the manager, whose name I do not know, and he was telling a couple of employees how great they were and how this was going to be the best day of their lives; that they were the vanguard of Roche Bros. He really did lay it on rather thick, but he was laughing about it. I stopped and then said – big mouth that I am – “Wow, inspiration 101.” The employees laughed; the manager laughed, and we all agreed that sometimes just a few words of encouragement at the beginning of the day can make all the difference in how the day goes by. Was I being a wiseguy? No, but I guess you had to be there to experience it.  While he was somewhat “over the top,” the manager was also turning work into fun.

            Certainly, I’ve become a cynic when it comes to politics. We have a governor in this state who seems to feel that who marries whom is more important than finding a way to care for the homeless, senior citizens, teachers, members of law enforcement or a myriad of other problems facing Massachusetts. Mitt, I’ve got some news for you. Freedom means, among others things, that people can fall in love with whomever they care to fall in love with. The Legislature isn’t being “obstructionist;” they’re (a) thinking about more important problems, and (b) covering their backsides because there are more people out there who understand that being gay does not mean that you will destroy “family values.” Hell, if that was the case, perhaps we should just outlaw marriage and bring back sin. Divorce, Mitt, divorce is what’s screwing up family values. Don’t try to ram your sense of values down the throats of others. Oh, I’m sorry, that’s the new Republican way, isn’t it…God, gays, and guns; love the first, hate the one in the middle, and give the NRA whatever it wants. If you can’t pray them into believing you’re right, tell them that the other side’s going to take away their guns and give gays the right to fall in love and marry who they wish. It’s called ‘governing by fear,’ and the general population is learning that it just doesn’t work. Perhaps that’s why I’m so cynical.

            Memory lane is a funny place. Years ago (oops), when you married, it was for life. It wasn’t always the best life, but you got through it. Years ago, if we were walking to school and someone offered a ride, we accepted…and we were driven directly to school. I can’t imagine that happening today. We hitchhiked without fear or without feeling the need to carry a .357 in our backpack…wait, we didn’t have backpacks. Years ago, I worked for Sy Sheehan in the A&P in Rockland. He was my first boss, and he was tough. But, he could laugh and joke and inspire, and I owe my work ethic to him. Years ago, I loved and lost, just the way you did, but I loved again and it’s been wonderful. Years ago, most of us carried some kind of jackknife in our pockets, but if we got into a fight, the knives never came out. Afterwards, we might not shake hands but we both knew the measure of the other. I wasn’t much of a fighter except when it came to protecting friends or teammates. Years ago, if we acted up in class, one of three things happened: (1) we were given a detention and had to stay after school. If we rode the bus, tough, because we had to walk home; (2) we were sent to the principal’s office, and if that happened, our parents were notified, and then we were in deeper ‘doo-doo’ than we cared to imagine, or; (3) if the teacher happened to feel that she or he could handle discipline his or her own way, we would get a knock across the back of our heads that would have us seeing double for a couple of minutes.

            Yes, that was years ago. It seems there were more stars in the sky; the summers were longer; the winters were colder; people were nicer; and certainly gas was a hell of a lot cheaper. That was years ago, but I also have many wonderful memories of months, days, weeks, and even hours ago that will, someday, be, “Years ago.”

Read Full Post »

If this were your world…

More than a decade ago, a friend of mine wrote his management philosophy and called it, “If this were your business.” He noted that the answers are deceptively simple. “We tend to complicate them,” he said, “because we have grown so big.” It’s a wonderful piece, and I have treasured the copy that he gave to me. Recently, I came across the article while doing some ‘file cleaning.’ It got me to thinking how it might have sounded if he had written something that was bigger, broader, more all-encompassing, and entitled it, “If this were your world.”

Our world has not grown bigger. If anything, our world has grown much smaller. We are more like a neighborhood now, than a collection of countries, each, to be sure, with differing political ideologies, different resources, and different value systems. However, what we do impacts our neighbors directly or indirectly, positively or negatively, but through the magic of communication, we learn almost instantly, just how our action has affected others. It follows from this premise that each and every person on earth must constantly and consistently behave as if the survival of the world depended on their each and every action, for indeed, it just might. We must weigh every decision and every action against this simple benchmark: “If the fate of the world hinged on my decision and my action, what would I do?”

If this were your world, you would know that it could only continue if mankind was at peace. You and all of your “people” would treat one another as though they were family. You would each anticipate the others every need and go the extra mile each and every time to satisfy that need. And you would leave one another with the feeling that they wanted desperately to continue to please you and each other.

If this were your world, you would want to excel in everything you did. You would constantly strive to do things better for the welfare of your “people.” You would want to take pride in every aspect of whatever you happened to be doing to help others.

If this were your world, you would want to use your assets – both physical and human – wisely. You would want your people to live well, but to understand that the environment in which they live cannot be plundered but must be treated with the same respect that they give to one another.

If this were your world, while you might not have any competition as you would in business, you would want to keep on top of new and better ways of doing things to ease the burden on your “people” and on their environment.

If this were your world, you would want to be known by all as a fair and decent world manager. You would recognize that your world was only as good as the people who live in it. You would want them to teach and motivate their children to understand the shared vision of the future of your world.

If this were your world, you would appreciate that you and your people have a responsibility to the other countries that have fallen behind for one reason or another. You would each willingly put something back to help those countries catch up and be on a par with one another, for it was those countries who were, in part, responsible for the success of the rest of your world.

There is nothing very complicated, unusual, or even mystical about that philosophy. It’s relatively easy to articulate, but so very difficult to translate into action. Perhaps those we call international terrorists actually believe they are right; I’m not certain I understand how indiscriminate, wholesale carnage can be considered appropriate, but perhaps they believe that is the true road to peace. Hopefully, before someone takes that one final, fatal step, working as one and respecting each other’s differences, we can create this world. We can no longer afford the luxury of not doing so.

With deepest thanks to William Frances Glavin, Retired Vice Chairman, Xerox Corporation and Retired President, Babson College. No man could ever ask for a finer friend.

Read Full Post »

You just can’t fix stupid

                    The story goes that several years ago, a car was stopped at an intersection in Washington, D.C. The driver, rather than stopping on the designated line, had stopped more than halfway over the pedestrian crosswalk. You have to understand that this was before all doors automatically locked when the engine was started, and it was long before road rage was in vogue. A pedestrian, crossing properly, opened the back door of the driver’s car, hunched down and walked out the other door, leaving both doors open so that the driver had to get out of the car to close them. Not a word was exchanged, but the message was clear; “If you’re going to violate my right to cross, I’m going to make you regret your actions.”

            The above story appeared in the Washington Post at a time when I happened to be working in the Pentagon. I’m assuming that it was true. I have heard of another case, several years back, where the pedestrian used one of the front tires as a stepstool and walked across the hood of a car. That one has never been confirmed and I have my doubts about its authenticity. However, you never can tell.

            That was then; this is now and surely times have changed. The unfortunate thing is that drivers haven’t. I’m reminded of the first story nearly every time I’m stopped at the intersection of East and Washington Streets in Islington. In fact, the story comes to mind whenever I see a driver cross into the pedestrian walkway as if he or she was the only one with a right to the road. It’s too bad that we cannot do today what that pedestrian did in DC back in the late sixties. Of course, I also don’t understand the necessity for blocking the walkway, particularly the one in Islington “Center,” so to speak. The Westwood Highway Department or some other entity ensured that the crosswalks would be clearly distinguishable by making them of a red brick substance. They also delineated the stop lines by painting them a lovely shade of white. However, the “left-laners,” as I call them don’t seem to have gotten the message that there will be a green arrow for them; they will not be in competition with vehicles coming at them from the other side of the intersection; they do not have to be halfway onto Washington Street to be certain of “getting there” first…wherever the hell “there” is.

            Some of you may have been or still are fans of “The Drifters,” the musical group that blended soul and gospel so beautifully. There’s a new type of ‘drifter’ on the block these days and you can find them at the same intersections. They aren’t in the business of making music themselves; however, those who experience them usually have a few horn melodies to play, accompanied by lyrics you definitely don’t want the children to hear.  I saw a couple of them the other day at the Route 1 intersection near the Dedham Cinema. They just kept drifting and drifting and drifting until they were damn near in the middle of the intersection when the “left-laners” coming north on Route 1 got their green arrow. The ‘drifters’ were caught between a rock and a hard place. They couldn’t back up and they were partially blocking those who had a green arrow. I just sat there and laughed my you-know-what off. Between the horns and the dirty looks and gestures, I’d like to believe the two drivers were embarrassed; however, I really don’t believe they cared one way or the other.    

                                 Perhaps I shouldn’t be so critical. After all, it was poet Richard T. Le Gallienne who said, “It is only on paper that one moralizes – just where one shouldn’t.” It does remain difficult, however, in light of today’s driving habits. One that seems to be occurring more of late concerns the “swing-outs.” As an example, you’re driving along and a string of traffic is coming toward you. You note   that the lead car has a directional signal going, indicating a right turn. Rather than wait for the turn, the car behind – with no regard for oncoming traffic – jumps into the left hand lane. Granted, he or she may be in a hurry; granted, he or she might have felt that the turning vehicle was moving too slowly; granted that he or she might just have a death wish. It is not a given, however, that you enjoy standing on your brakes so that this idiot can have the entire road.                         

            Isn’t it sad that so many of us have lost our consideration for others on the road, whether it’s other drivers, pedestrians, or cyclists? Speaking of pedestrians, we now have this “right on red” law in Massachusetts. We might have been behind the times in implementing it, but wow, are we taking advantage of it. As I understand the law, unless otherwise posted, one must come to a complete stop at a red light. If pedestrians are crossing, you don’t move. If the pedestrian “walk” light is on, but you don’t see any pedestrians, you don’t move. If there is a sign facing you that reads, “No turn on red,” you don’t move. Okay, we all clear on that one? Well, maybe you and I are clear on it, but there are a great many people out there who seem to have a little bit of trouble recognizing what the rules are. “Right on red” to these folks appears to mean that if they pull up to a light and are planning on making a right turn, it’s the same damned thing as if the light were green. Forget the lady pushing the baby carriage with one hand and holding the toddler with the other. Hell, they shouldn’t be there anyway…you’re making a right. Forget that there are signs in every direction that say, “No turn on red;” that doesn’t apply to you…you’re making a right. There is no humor in this; I have seen it. I’ve seen not only this, but I’ve seen these same drivers blow their horn at a lady walking with a cane, crossing with the light; and at teachers with a group of pre-kindergartners hitched together. One can only imagine the potential for tragedy in situations such as these.

            There’s been a great deal of talk recently about young drivers, their propensity for disobeying traffic laws and their love of speed. What I’m talking about here knows no age. It’s a careless disregard for others. It’s stupid, and as we all know, ya just can’t fix stupid.

Read Full Post »